Always
by LAIsobel
Summary: You asked for it. Set after 3x06 because it was such a powerful episode and it made me cry and smile and worry and I just couldn't help it. Of course, it's Andy and Sully ship story, of course, there are bits of Pruitt and Vic and Travis and Maya... like usually. You might need some tissues and chocolate to make it through this one though. Few chapters long, not sure how many.
1. Chapter 1

_So you asked for it. We got the perfect hug but I needed more. And I know you do too. It took me some time to figure out where I wanted to go with this one but I think I have it and I hope you'll agree with it. Comments are welcomed especially this time as I am a bit nervous about posting this._

_Timeline – so this episode ended in the early morning. If you haven't seen Grey's – that ends in the evening, Vic comes to Grey Sloan with Jeff and his amputated leg and Ben comes home to find a big surprise – Miranda asked Joey to come and live with them._

_And we start after the episode of course, as usually._

* * *

Pruitt didn't think he would tell his daughter this way. He had about a million different scenarios in his head, trying to figure out how to tell her in the least horrible way but none of them seemed right. Well, it wasn't right. It was stupid and unfair and he hated it. He hated being sick, he hated being sick now when she was grieving for Ryan, he hated that all those things put together cost her the promotion. He hated it all.

And now he was standing there, watching the closed door and he didn't know what to do.

There was a small part of him that wanted to be there with his daughter but his gut was telling him that he shouldn't be there, not right then. He looked at Hughes and noticed with a broken heart that she was crying. He felt even worse now.

"Hughes…" He said softly.

"Sorry, Sir. I just…" She tried to say something but didn't know what. He nodded in understanding. He looked back at the door.

"Should I go there?" Vic asked as she thought he didn't like Sullivan being there.

"No." He answered though.

"But Sullivan…" Vic tried to argue but Pruitt smiled at her sadly. He actually smiled.

"Is the only one that can help her right now." He said and Vic's eyes were wide before the understanding hit her.

"You know he…" She replied.

"Yes, I know how much he cares about her." He answered. "I got it all wrong at first though. I still owe him an apology." He admitted and Vic chuckled. She watched him and realized that there was something about him that was different. Maybe it was the result of his diagnosis.

"Captain." She said then, sobering up again. And without waiting for him to say something she came to him and hugged him. She just needed to.

"I'm so sorry." She said and he hugged her back. He wouldn't admit it but he needed the hug and he truly liked Hughes.

"Me too." He replied and only when they heard steps Vic stepped away. It was Maya. Vic didn't know what to do so he just stayed there, only stepped away from Captain Herrera.

"Sir," Maya said, her voice trembling. He looked at her.

"I'm so sorry, Sir. I didn't know, I had no idea, I just…" She tried to explain. Vic was looking at her and it seemed like she was getting mad for some reason.

"What did you do, Bishop?" She asked a bit hard.

"Vic…" Maya wanted to explain but Pruitt jumped in.

"She didn't do anything. It was just a coincidence. And Andy figured it all out." He sighed. Vic nodded and noticed Maya looked sad and worried.

"I was trying to tell her for so long but I didn't know how. And then things got rough and I just…" He was surprised that he was telling them but he had nothing to lose anymore.

"I should have told her sooner." He said in the end and they were all quiet again. One of the firefighters from B shift came in there, looking for Bishop, they needed to talk about something so she excused herself and with a heavy heart, she walked away.

"What are you going to do, Sir?" Vic asked.

"I don't know." He answered and she smiled sadly.

"You know what, why don't we grab a bite, huh? It was a hell of a night." Vic said and Pruitt nodded after a moment.

"Sure. Let's give them some time." He said and Vic was again surprised by how cool he was about Sullivan being there.

"I know what you're thinking, Hughes." He told her and she grinned. Her old Captain was back.

In the bunk, Andy was crying in despair into Sullivan's shirt. She was clutching the fabric in her fist, sobbing without control while he held her and kept on repeating some meaningless soothing words. There was nothing that could ease her pain and worry so he did the only thing he could – he was there for her.

He had no idea how much time passed before she calmed down a bit. He felt how exhausted she was and wasn't surprised. After helping JJ the whole night she had to deal with this kind of news and all those emotions were just too much.

"Andy…" He tried to say something but she buried her face even deeper into his chest.

"Hey…" He tried again and she looked up.

"Robert…" She said. "He's dying."

"I know." He replied, feeling tears on his own face.

"I…" Andy wanted to say something but felt more tears in her eyes. "I know you can't be here but please don't go." She managed to choke out before she was crying again. He pressed her closer.

"I'm not going anywhere." He replied and knowing she needed to rest, he slowly maneuvered them on the bed so he was leaning against the wall at the head of the bed and she was half lying in his arms, crying, hurting too much. And he held her. He would literally do anything. It took her some time but exhaustion took over and she fell asleep.

Sullivan knew he should get up and go away but he physically couldn't. He was biting the inside of his cheek so he wouldn't cry out in pain as his leg was on fire again. He refused to acknowledge it and he refused to move because he just didn't want to disturb her. She was important, he was not.

Besides the mere idea of leaving her was breaking his heart.

Captain Herrera met Montgomery in the beanery. He instantly knew that he finally had told his daughter. That, of course, caused a reaction from Hughes.

"You knew?"

"Eh, yes." He answered, knowing he was in trouble.

"You knew and didn't say anything? Come on, Trav!" She was giving him a hard time.

"Come on, Hughes," Pruitt said.

"But why did you tell him and not Andy?" She wanted to know while preparing some toasts.

"Because I trained it on him. By accident." Pruitt said and Vic looked at him like he was crazy. Montgomery just shrugged and pretended like he wasn't there. They sat down at the table, happy they were alone for some time.

"Where is she now anyway?" Travis asked. Vic coughed and Travis looked at her with question mark all over his face. "What? What did I say?" He wanted to know.

"She's with Sullivan," Pruitt said. Travis smiled at him a bit before realizing that it wasn't really appropriate.

"Oh, you know about them," Travis said when it dawned on him.

"And it seems I am not the only one," Pruitt replied. Travis didn't know what to say. He looked at Vic for help but she just put her hands up in surrender.

"Don't look at me, I don't know anything." She told them.

"Sure you don't," Pruitt said and Travis burst out laughing.

Their conversation was disturbed when Dean came, all happy and moved. He needed something to drink for JJ. They congratulated him and he was just too moved to even talk properly. It was so strange. The atmosphere in the beanery changed and Pruitt felt even sadder than before. He didn't want to go.

Checking out the time he excused himself and walked to the bunk. He opened the door softly, he didn't want to disturb them. He didn't know what was going on inside and there was a part of him that didn't want to know. But he knew better now, he knew he could trust Sullivan because he apparently indeed had feelings for his daughter.

Maybe, just maybe, when he'd be gone and with Ryan being dead, she'd at least have Sullivan. Could that actually be? Could that happen? He felt a sharp pain in his heart because he realized that he might not be around to see that happening, he might not be there to see his daughter being happy again. Could he accept the fact that it might be with Robert Sullivan? He wasn't sure about it and it troubled him. He knew that man cared and judging by her reactions she probably did too.

As he opened the door his heart stopped for a moment before he felt warm calming feeling spreading through his veins. Yes, she wouldn't be alone.

Pruitt watched his sleeping daughter lying partially in the arms of Sullivan who kept on stroking her hair, looking sad and worn out himself. The scene was so intimate that Pruitt felt like he was intruding for a moment. There was something so deep about it.

When Sullivan looked at him he immediately got nervous. He opened his mouth a couple of times, trying to say something but he looked like a gaping fish.

"Sir." He choked out in the end. "She was exhausted, I just…" He wanted to explain but had no words.

"Thank you, Robert."

"What for?" Sullivan asked, his voice breaking. Pruitt just nodded in Andy's direction and Sullivan looked down at her again, just making sure she was okay in his arms.

"I should go," Sullivan said then but Pruitt stopped him.

"Stay with her, if you can."

"Captain…"

"If you want to leave, then go. But if you want to stay, please, stay." Pruitt said honestly, openly and enjoyed the moment of shock in Sullivan's eyes. Oh, he knew.

"I'll wait outside," Pruitt added and with one last look at his sleeping grieve stricken daughter he left the bunk. And true to his word, he sat down in the hall, leaning against the wall and he just waited for Sullivan to come out. There were two options, he would either come out immediately, trying to escape before Andy would wake up or he would stay and wait for her to wake up so he would at least try to make sure she was okay enough to be left alone with her sadness.

As time passed by he smiled despite everything. Sullivan stayed in the bunk. It gave Pruitt a strange feeling of comfort.

* * *

_A/N More to come but this time it felt like I should split it up. Hope you agree._


	2. Chapter 2

_Thank you for the reviews! I'm glad you loved the first chapter. I wasn't too sure about it. I have the story all lined up, only waiting to be written. I'll try to do my best to have it all posted before the next episode is up. I know I make mistakes, sorry, I am not a native speaker and I don't really have time to check the text two or three times... bear with me, please.  
_

* * *

Ben Warren was looking after Jeff, he was mercifully still asleep due to the drugs they gave him. They still had to wait for the blizzard to go away before they could move him to Grey Sloan. So he at least did the paperwork. He was counting the vials for the third time and it just didn't add up.

He was confused. There were missing vials of fentanyl. They should have been there but they weren't. It didn't make any sense. Why would they be missing? Sitting back in the chair he sighed heavily. He had an idea but it simply couldn't be. Absolutely not. No.

There was only one man that could have taken the vials. Sullivan. But that just… it was just crazy. Ben tried to think back, he tried to remember something that would give him a clue, he tried to put the pieces together but the picture he got unsettled him. He couldn't leave Jeff alone but after another ten minutes of thinking it through and still coming up to the same conclusion, he checked his vitals and left. He met Hughes at the reception.

"Hey, how's the patient?" Vic asked.

"Asleep but stable."

"Good," she answered.

"Look, Vic, could you stay with him for a moment? I need to take care of something." Ben asked her. The Station was calm and nothing was happening.

"Yeah, no problem."

"Thanks. If anything happens, call me."

"Sure," Vic said and walked to the Aid Car in the garage. Ben on the other hand gathered up all his courage and went to search for Sullivan.

Sullivan in the meantime was still in the bunk. He was stiff and needed to get up and stretch but he refused to get up and stretch. Andy was asleep, it was uneasy sleep, she was whimpering and kept on shivering, she was holding the fabric of his shirt fiercely in her fist and from time to time a lonely tear fell down her face. His heart was breaking for her every single time that happened.

Watching her, caressing her hair and holding her hand when she let go of his shirt, he focused only on her. He shouldn't be there with her. He shouldn't be the one to hold her right now. Things would get complicated and rough and everything would be awkward and miserable. But how could he just leave her? How could he pretend he didn't care?

Checking the time he was surprised it was already so late. Andy began to stir and it didn't take her long to wake up. She was confused at first, it took her a moment to realize where she was. She looked up and saw Sullivan's face. She was frozen in shock. Then it all came back to her.

"Hey." Sullivan said and smiled at her. He didn't want that moment to be awkward and embarrassing but had the distant feeling that it would anyway.

"Oh. Hey." She said back nervously. She honestly didn't know what to do. Any movement would mean more contact between them and that didn't seem like a good idea.

So they just stayed as they were, both feeling nervous and awkward and at loss for the right words. Andy was the first to break the moment as she sat up and moved away from him a bit. It was so embarrassing.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…" She tried to apologize but he jumped in and stopped her.

"Don't."

"What?"

"Don't apologize, please. I…" And he couldn't form a coherent sentence either. He took a deep breath and moved to get up from the bed, praying his leg would play along. He ended up sitting next to her, their legs almost touching.

"Whatever you need, whenever you need it, I'm here." He said then and sounded pathetic even to his own ears. Andy looked at him in shock, such admission was not something she expected. Sullivan exhaled loudly, kissed her temple, whispered that he was sorry and got up and left. Andy was speechless, felt her cheeks getting hot, she watched him go and was glad she was sitting because her world got rocked again. That man was… oh she didn't know. But she believed him. Whatever, whenever, he'd be there.

Of course it confused her even more. Than it all came back to her, how she cried in his arms, how she held him desperately, how she sobbed and then let him take her into his arms. She felt so embarrassed she couldn't even comprehend it. How did that happen? She was in shock and grieving. And he came and he was simply there. No questions asked. No answers needed. He was there for her and let her cry her broken heart out. But what did it mean?

Before she could think about it further, her father was at the door, looking at her, unsure about what to do. She just smiled at him sadly and he came to her, sat down next to her and hugged her.

"I'm so sorry…" he kept on repeating as he held her. When she finally pulled away, she held his hand.

"Tell me everything, dad." She asked and he nodded. And so he told her. He told her about the pain and he told her about the day he found out. He told her about the bar and he told her about trying to find a way how to tell her. He told her about refusing chemo and he told her about the treatments and about what was happening. He told her about Ben being there that day and he told her about breaking Montgomery up on the roof. She actually laughed at that.

"And Maya? Did she know?" Andy asked and was scared of the answer.

"No, she didn't know. I swear." He said and she believed him.

"Dad…"

"Yes?"

"Did Ryan know?" Andy asked, broken and exhausted. She was also hungry. God what time was it? How long did she sleep here with Sullivan?

Pruitt had thought about this part for a very long time. He knew that at some point she would find out or figure it out. He knew that he didn't want to go and have secrets from her, he knew that he owed her the truth.

"Dad?" She asked again, worried, her voice trembling.

"He knew. I came to San Diego and told him. I asked him to come back for you." He answered with heavy heart. Andy was shocked and felt tears in her eyes again.

"Dad…"

"He came back because I asked him to come back. If I hadn't…" He admitted something that had been bothering him for a really long time.

"No, stop."

"Andrea…"

"No. It's not your fault he died. Not more than it's mine."

"What? Why on Earth would it be your fault?"

"Because if I had been at work it wouldn't have happened." She told him matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, and that woman you saved would have bled out in front of her children's eyes." Pruitt replied and Andy knew he was right.

"Okay… but don't blame yourself, all right? You can't and I can't. And I know it's hard and that it hurts, dad, but we can't."

"Oh, sweetheart." He whispered and hugged her again as she started to cry once more. And he was not ashamed to feel tears in his own eyes.

They moved apart when Andy's stomach growled. She was so hungry. Pruitt laughed when he heard that.

"Seems like you could use some lunch." He said.

"Lunch? What time is it?" Andy asked slightly in panic and checked the time.

"You've slept for couple of hours." Pruitt told her softly.

"Dad…" She wanted to explain but he caressed her hair and that effectively stopped her. Her father was not the type to show affection like that so when he did, it meant the world to her.

"I was wrong about you and Sullivan." He said. "I told you in the car but I should have told you sooner. I was wrong."

"Nothing happened, dad." Andy repeated. "I didn't sleep with him. I know you think I disgraced you but…"

"No, stop." He stopped her. "I am proud of you. Of everything you are. I love you." He said and she felt like an idiot but she was ready to cry again.

"Dad…"

"You care about him quite a lot, don't you?" He said and it was more a statement than a question and she didn't try to argue. She only nodded.

"I care about him. But everything got messed up and then even more with the promotions. And I didn't get mine in the end anyway so…"

"Come on, let's eat."Pruitt stopped her and when she nodded and got up, he was glad. He planned on telling her about his part in her not getting the promotion but decided not to do that on empty stomach. The Station was still closed and the only thing they could do was to go to the beanery and hope there'd be some food left.

The word spread and so all of the team knew about Pruitt's condition so when anyone came, there was that awkward moment of not knowing what to do or how to react. He dismissed them all and tried to keep the team together. They all noticed how Andy looked but nobody said a word.

Vic wasn't there as she was in the Aid Car looking after Jeff. And Ben wasn't there because he finally found Sullivan in his office and decided to bite the bullet.

Sullivan was sitting on the edge of his desk, his eyes closed, he was deep in thought. Ben didn't get the news about Pruitt Herrera telling them all so he didn't connect the dots but that didn't matter. He knocked and Sullivan looked up at him.

"Warren."

"Sir. Can I talk to you for a second?" Ben asked.

"Sure. Everything okay with Jeff and his dog?"

"Yeah, don't worry."

"Good. So come on in and let's talk." Sullivan said, totally oblivious to how Ben was nervous and serious. Ben closed the door behind him which had Sullivan look at him questioningly. Warren didn't sit down, he stood face to face to his Chief and knew very well that this conversation might cost him his job. But he decided to trust his gut and his gut was telling him that Sullivan was in troubles and needed help.

"I did the inventory check and there are some missing vials of fentanyl." Ben started. Sullivan didn't move a muscle. He didn't let it on but inside him there was a raging storm of shame and worry.

"Sir I might be way out of line but I think you took them." He said and waited.

"And why would I do that?" Sullivan asked as calmly as he could.

"My guess? You're in pain. It's your leg. I've noticed the occasional cramps you have. I know you've been to Grey Sloan because my wife saw you and asked me if you were all right. I don't know what exactly is going on and what is your situation that it makes you take drugs from the PRT supplies but I know something is happening."

"Warren…" Sullivan wanted to say something but Warren wasn't finished.

"So I'm not asking you if you took those vials but why? What is going on, Sir? And more importantly, how can I help?" Warren asked and waited for Sullivan to say something, to react to that. Sullivan sighed and took some time to think about how exactly to explain it. Warren was right and he owed him at least a decent explanation.

"Complex regional pain syndrome." He said.

"What?"

"It started when we came back from L.A. I've been seeing Dr. Koracick but his only solution is a very expensive surgery which I don't want."

"But why?"

"Because it's chronic. It can come back even after the surgery, there are no guarantees. And once I have this in my file, I'm done." Sullivan said and noticed that Warren looked sad about it.

"That's why you wanted the promotion. That's why you wanted desk job." Warren realized and Sully only nodded.

"Yeah. I've been doing PT but it's getting worse and more frequent. I ran out of prescription drugs so I did something I am not proud of. But I saw no other option." Sullivan admitted. "Write me down, Warren, report it." He said in the end and that had Ben looking at him like he just grew a tail and horns.

"What? No."

"Warren, the PRT is a good thing and it shouldn't get ruined just because I messed up. This is not your problem. Just report it." Sullivan said. And he meant it. But Warren looked defensive.

"I won't do that, Sir."

"Ben."

"No. You've always had my back, Sir."

"Bullshit, I gave you hard time when I first came here. You don't owe me anything."

"Okay so maybe not always but once you started to open a bit to us and tried to be part of the team? Ever since then you've always had my back. And not just mine. Whether you like it or not, Sir, you are part of this team. And we were taught to look out for each other, to care about each other." Ben was passionate about this and Sullivan was embarrassed because he was actually moved quite a lot by that speech.

"So I'm not letting you go down just because you're sick. That's not what we do."

"There's nothing you can do, Ben." He told him. "But thank you, you have no idea how much I appreciate this." And he was serious. Even he had no idea how much something like that could mean to him.

"You're wrong. I can do something. But if I do it, I need your word, that you won't take another vial, Sir. Give me your word."

Ben asked him and Sullivan knew he had two options. First one was to do as Warren asked and trust him and the other was to say no and thank you and hope things would work out somehow. But that was unlikely. So he nodded.

"You have my word." Sullivan said and Ben nodded.

Warren took out his phone and dialed a number. Sullivan watched him and didn't know what was happening.

"Amelia, hi. How are you doing?" Ben asked the person on the other end of the line. Amelia? Sullivan tried to think about that name. Who was she?

"I know you took some personal days but I was hoping I could ask for a favor." Ben said and Sully realized that there was a doctor at Grey Sloan named Amelia Her surname started with Sh. Who was she?

"Yeah, he's a friend of mine. He was Koracick's patient but it didn't work out that well. Could you please take a look at his case?"

Sullivan waited, holding his breath. Amelia Shepherd, she was a neurosurgeon. Ding ding, he hit the jackpot.

"Yeah, name's Robert Sullivan." Ben added and Sullivan didn't know what to say.

"Sure, Amelia. Thanks, I owe you one." Ben said and handed the phone to Sullivan. He looked like deer caught in the headlights but took the phone and talked to the woman on the other side. Ben sat down and waited. Once the call was over Sullivan handed him the phone back.

"Koracick is good but she's better and she's open-minded. If there's anyone that can help you, it's her."

"Thank you, Warren. Really."

"Just… get better, Sir." Warren said and got up from the chair he occupied during Sullivan's call with Amelia.

"What about the fentanyl?" Sullivan asked.

"Vials can break." Warren replied and with a nod he left the office. He couldn't wait to go home.

Sullivan sat down behind his desk and couldn't believe what just happened. He thought he was screwed. He thought Warren would get his head. He really thought he would just report him and see to it that his career was over. But instead of that he tried to help him.

The doctor told him there were no guarantees but she agreed to take a look at his case. They made an appointment in Grey Sloan and he could only hope she would figure something out. But as she said, she could make no promises. He only hoped it wouldn't come to the surgery which still had 50:50 chances of helping him live a better life.

Sullivan knew that he couldn't keep on going like this. He knew it was wrong and thinking back to his actions he was ashamed. The pain was too much but this was maybe even worse. So should it come to that, he would have to agree with the surgery and hope it would be a success and that he would keep his job.

He was tired, so tired. And hungry. So deciding to grab a bite in the beanery he walked there, felt the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Thinking about this day he felt something warm in his chest though. Those hours spent with Andy in the bunk gave him a lot to think about. He was there for her because she needed him. Because her father was right and her year would get much worse. Because she would grieve for another loved one and it would break her. Even now she was more numb than angry no matter she claimed otherwise. There was no spark in her eyes and when she tried to smile, her eyes remained dark and cold. He knew how that felt, he's been there, he's done that.

But she relaxed in his arms and let him offer comfort. She asked him not to leave and he told her he wouldn't go anywhere. He knew she was mad at him and she had every right to be. But after this morning there was a silver lining for him that maybe, just maybe under all those dark exhausting emotions was still the one that was light and beautiful, optimistic and full of joy. Maybe she still cared about him. Maybe… No, he had to stop. It was useless.

His leg was the problem, the big issue and she didn't know about it. Could he tell her? Should he tell her? Or should he wait for the results of his meeting with Dr. Shepherd? Could it make a difference?

He saw her and her dad when he came to the beanery. Hughes was there with them, so was Montgomery and Rigo with Bishop. Gibson was there too but looked – wait a minute – beaten? He would surely have to ask about that. What the hell happened? Somebody punched him? But as he noticed Andy looking at him, he felt his heart melt. He was so screwed. Yesterday he was trying to persuade himself that it would be better to forget everything and now? Damn!

As he was pouring coffee, Andy came to put the mugs and plates to the sink. He felt her close and there was electricity in the air.

"Andy… can we talk? I need to tell you something." He said and felt like a damn fool. She looked at him nervously.

"Later?" She asked but there was no venom in her voice like the days before. She was blushing under his gaze and he wanted to hug her once more which was bad enough. So he gripped his mug quite strongly.

"Sure." He answered. She nodded and left in a hurry. She sat down back to her father and together with the crew they waited for the all clear so they could take the patient in the Aid Car to the hospital and they could all go home.

"Have a seat, Sullivan." Pruitt said and Sully wanted to decline but had no valid reason to do so. So he thanked him and sat down with them. He realized they were talking about Miller and his baby so he gathered the little one was already born.

"She did great." Maya said and so he started to pay attention.

"She had a great support." Pruitt added and Maya knew what he was trying to do. And she was grateful.

"Yeah, me and Andy and baby with Miller's genes, what more is there, huh?" She said and they grinned. Even Andy. She was too tired to be mad so she just went along. Sure she was still mad but in the light of the news she got that day, she didn't give a damn anymore.

"So we're throwing a baby party, right?" Rigo asked.

"You bet we are." Sullivan replied and the mood was up a bit. Happier.

Finally the all clear came and they could all finish their jobs, go home and get some sleep before the next shift. Vic asked Ben if she could take the Aid Car and he looked at her questioningly.

"In a hurry to see Avery?" He asked with a mocking smile.

"I'm not answering that." She said and grinned back at him. So what?

* * *

_About one more to go._


	3. Chapter 3

_Upon reading amazingly written blog _ _myjourneywithrsd .com and spending several hours trying to learn as much as I could about CRPS, I did some small changes to the previous chapter. If you want to know what CRPS really is, then take a look at the blog or at the facebook page of RSDSA – including a letter to Shonda Rhimes which is definitely worth reading! I'll try to do my best to capture the heart of it all but if there are any inaccuracies; don't hesitate to let me know._

* * *

Ways of the crew parted when the roads were cleared and they had the rest of the day off. Their next shift would start in the morning and they all had a lot to think about, a lot to digest. This shift didn't turn out the way they all expected. It was no regular being-stuck-in-blizzard shift. This was life changing and nothing would be the same anymore kind of shift.

Andy asked her dad if she should go home with him but he just hugged her and declined.

"Dad…"

"I'm not gonna die tonight, okay?"

"That's not funny, dad." She scolded him but he only smiled.

"What about I pick you up in the morning, we go and buy some breakfast for everyone, what do you say?"

"Team breakfast in the beanery?"

"Like in the old times." Pruitt said softly and she nodded after a moment.

"Okay, we can do that, yeah. That'll be nice." She answered. "Can I at least walk you home?"

"Sure." He could let her do that. And so they left together and although they were quiet most of the way, it was a comfortable silence. They were together and Andy felt part of the raging fire inside her, part of that all-consuming anger going away. She missed her father. As they were nearing the apartment building where Pruitt lived now, he got all serious.

"I need to tell you something else, Andy." He said and she got all nervous and worried.

"Do I need to sit down?" She asked back.

"I wasn't completely honest with you about the reason why I wanted to sell the house."

"What?" Andy didn't understand. What was he talking about? And so Pruitt took a deep breath and told her. He told her about the insurance and about the diagnosis, he told her about payments for his treatments and he even admitted that he went to see Dixon and instead of getting help he got nothing.

"He even asked Sullivan to put me in the line, that idiot." Pruitt added as an afterthought. He regretted it the moment he said it. Oh that wasn't good.

"You're kidding, right?"

"No."

"What… what did Sullivan say?" Andy asked carefully. She desperately wanted to know but at the same time didn't want to talk about him at all because it was bringing back all sorts of feelings and memories and she wasn't sure she could take it right then.

"Oh he admitted Dixon called him but instead of giving me hard time he was worried about me. He asked me if I was sick again."

"He knew?" Andy asked and stopped walking. Did Sullivan know and didn't tell her?

"No. He didn't know. I didn't tell him anything. But he told me I should talk to you if there was something going on. And he was right." Pruitt said sadly. That man was driving him nuts and in the same time he grew to respect him quite a lot.

"Dad why didn't you tell me sooner?" Andy asked the one question that had been burning her heart and mind the whole time.

"I wanted to but…"

"But what, dad?" He asked but he had no answer. It was too complicated.

"But I didn't know how. After the fight we had you didn't speak to me and I was mad at you. And then you lost Ryan and I wanted to give you time." He answered and looked sheepishly at her. Andy just hugged him again. He was a fool. He was her dad.

They walked to his apartment and he was exhausted. He needed to get some sleep. So they said their goodbyes and Andy walked home. She was drained to the bone and could use a hot shower and bed. Her senses were overwhelmed and her body was moving on autopilot. She was numb inside and yet felt like screaming. She remembered their plan for the morning and so she texted everyone including Maya, which took her a bit of self-convincing, to tell them to be there. She asked them to be there if they could so they could have the breakfast with her dad.

The last message she needed to send was to Sullivan. She didn't know if she should send it, her hand trembled and she felt like crying again. But she did, she sent the message and felt butterflies in her stomach when the reply came. Others just said yes and sure and okay but he replied with "What should I bring?" which surprised her and made her smile sadly. Of course he had no idea how these team breakfasts worked. He would join them from time to time but didn't do it regularly.

So she hit the reply button and tried to type in some response. She deleted the message about five times before she just wrote "Just be there" and hit the send button. It was so pathetic and she felt like idiot but it was already done. And really, she meant it. He wanted to talk to her anyway so they could perhaps find a moment before the shift starts.

She didn't know where she stood with him, she didn't know what happened or what it meant but she decided not to think about it at all. She was done thinking. She was too tired to think, too exhausted. She needed to sleep and she needed to get up in the morning and try to sort it all out in her head so it would make some sense.

* * *

Jack ran into Rigo when he was changing to his civvies and Rigo extended his hand to him. Was it really that easy? Gibson didn't know. He took the hand but didn't release it.

"I didn't know." He said and Rigo looked doubtfully.

"When she came to the bar I didn't know who she was." He tried to explain and Rigo nodded.

"But she told you."

"Yeah. She did."

"So why, Gibson?" Rigo asked, still holding his hand as firmly as Gibson was holding him.

"Honestly? I don't know. I tried to stop it, stop her, I really did."

"But you didn't."

"I didn't. And I'm sorry. Really. I deserve a lot more than just one punch, man." Gibson said and waited.

"Yeah, you do." Rigo answered but let go of his hand. Gibson stood there and waited, thinking he would get another blow.

"But she knew, man. She knew who you were." Rigo said sadly and left. Gibson stood there and didn't understand what just happened. Well, he screwed up and he knew it. Rigo had every right to beat him into a pulp as he said. One blow was not enough. He felt like punching something himself. What the hell was wrong with him? Was he really that broken over Bishop dumping him? Or did he lose his self-preservation instincts? What the hell?

Well he found new respect for Vasquez and had a little less respect for himself.

He walked home and found Andy on the couch with a steaming mug in her hands. She looked like she just took a shower and was ready to go to bed. He plopped down next to her and she immediately noticed his face.

"Do I have to ask?"

"No."

"Vasquez."

"Yeah, apparently his wife tells him when she flirts or sleeps with a guy." Gibson said.

"You're kidding."

"Nope."

"Jack…" She wanted to say something comforting but didn't know what. He smiled at her sadly.

"Dean hates me. Said it was unforgivable. And he's right. I will be cast out, just like you said." He told her and she shook her head. Lonely tear slipped down from her eye and she just blinked it away.

"Dad's dying." She said then. "I'm not gonna lose you too." She told him and Jack just put his arm up so she could lean into his embrace. She put the mug down on the table and settled into his side. He hugged her to him, being the friend she needed and taking comfort from her presence as well. And so they stayed like that, each lost in thoughts. Andy fell asleep as exhaustion took over. Jack took comfort from her presence but then he picked her up and carried her to bed. He was glad she was his friend. She saw him for who he was and he appreciated it. He knew that he would always care about her. She was just that important to him. When he closed the door to her room he fealt heavy weight around his heart. He was such a fool. He decided to go for a run, when he couldn't move anymore, he came back home, took a shower and grabbed a bite to eat. After checking up on Andy and making sure she was still asleep, he went to his room and fell asleep even before his head hit the pillow.

* * *

Ben came home and found out his wife took Joey from the hospital. The boy looked much better now. Except for the fact that he was wearing his clothes and was playing videogames with his son. And so Miranda told him that he was healed now and had nowhere to go. She offered to take him in, to give him home and love and something stable in his life. She even asked the social services to ask the foster parents of Joey's foster siblings if they could meet from time to time and they all said yes. Ben wasn't sure about it but he saw the happy smile on his wife's face, the smile he hadn't seen ever since they lost their baby. And that was all he needed. Nodding, he hugged her. So he would be coming home to three amazing people instead of two. That wasn't so bad.

Later that night he told Miranda about the day and about Jeff. And she noticed he was thinking about something.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, don't worry."

"Really?"

"It falls under doctor-patient confidentiality." Ben said and Miranda gave him THAT look.

"Don't worry about it, okay?"

"You're not in troubles?"

"No. I promise." He said and kissed her.

* * *

Maya didn't even leave the Station. She had so much paperwork it physically hurt. She needed to have it done, she wanted to have it done that she just stayed there and took some shuteye in the bunk. She felt broken after this day. Talking to Andy was something she needed only now she wasn't sure if it was for better or worse. She couldn't believe her father was dying and she couldn't believe they just helped to deliver Dean's baby. This day was something she wouldn't forget.

She missed her friend. She was a crappy friend but it was drilled so deep into her that it was hard to change it. But seeing Andy cry and walk away, seeing all those emotions during the day on faces of everyone, of Miller and Sullivan, watching them all take in the new information, she just missed being part of the team.

When Andy texted her about the planned breakfast, she was happy. She could do that, she could have breakfast with them, she could be one of them and still be the Captain. She could do that. She had to do that. When she was too exhausted to even think, she lied down and to her surprise she cried into the pillow. She cried because Pruitt Herrera was about to die and she would miss him like she would miss her own father. And it hurt too much.

* * *

Sullivan was at home. He took a long shower and thanked God he was all alone when his leg gave out again, when the pain burned through him so strongly he fell to the ground. And so he sat there in the shower, naked, wet, the water slowly turning cold and he cried. He cried because everything was wrong. And he was shaken and broken, like life chewed him and spitted him out as something rotten.

When he could stand up again he turned off the water and dried off. He took his pajama pants and plopped down to his bed. He certainly didn't think he would live through such shift. So many things happened and so many didn't. He had so many open wounds he felt like bleeding out. And yet some of those deepest started to heal during those precious moments. And he felt horrible because he knew he'd have to cut them open again to move on.

Pruitt was dying. And it wasn't fair and it sucked. And he was determined to do all he could to help him fight Dixon because Dixon was an idiot and Pruitt deserved better.

Warren figured it all out. And Sully knew that taking those vials was the dumbest thing he had ever done in his life. Well aside from telling Andy to go back then after L.A. Sullivan had to admit that he was surprised by Ben's reaction. That man would never cease to surprise him it seemed. He was looking forward to meeting Dr. Shepherd. He hoped she'd be a little bit more open than Koracick. And if Ben said she was good, then he would believe him. Besides he had no other choice. And he would have to tell Andy.

Andy.

He was exhausted but guessed he wouldn't get much sleep. His mind turned to Andy Herrera and he was lost. When her father admitted the illness, Sully felt like he couldn't breathe. It all came back to him, all those talks about promotions and safety, about happiness and love. Everything. And he couldn't even imagine how she had to feel back then. First he hurt her, then she lost her best friend, then the promotion and now she was about to lose her father. He admired her for even standing on her feet at that point.

When Hughes told him to give her a minute, he looked at Pruitt. He needed to know he was okay with him coming inside the bunk. Pruitt nodded, it was barely there but he did it. And so Sully followed his instinct and went inside. Seeing her crying on that bed broke him and all those feeling he had for her came back full force, hitting him square in the chest. He wanted to hide her and protect her from all that pain, he wanted to take it all away and he wanted to hold her and never let go. And when she willingly came into his embrace, his heart was beating madly.

Now he was thinking about it, about all she said and about what he said, he was thinking about the whole situation and knew he did right when he asked her if they could talk. He needed to come out clean and tell her about his leg. He needed her to know. He wanted to tell her so she would understand. He had no hope though. He knew she was too mad and he knew they would never work out. But he wanted to tell her. She was all that mattered now.

When he got her message about the breakfast in the beanery, he wasn't sure if it was meant for him at all. He looked at the screen and after trying to type a response about five times, he finally asked what he should bring. Andy's reply made him smile. Something so small like a message and it made him feel so much better. For a moment before the reality would hit him again. But even that moment counted. He fell asleep, his leg throbbing and his skin feeling like it would peel off from his leg. And that took all those nice feelings away. He hoped he would get some sleep. He prayed he would. He sighed as he felt so lonely in the apartment that it actually hurt. He felt pathetic.

* * *

_Sorry folks, I am so tired I barely keep my eyes open. So I'm gonna end it here and give you one more chapter tomorrow._


	4. Chapter 4

_Are you as nervous as I am about the next episode? Well the remaining four episodes? Have you seen promos? Damn! Sully and Andy in that pawn shop? They simply have to end up together after that. If not you have my word I will make them end up together!_

* * *

The morning came and one by one the crew came to the Station. They met in the beanery and all of them were nervous. Each for a different reason but all put together they didn't feel at ease at all. The air was charged with electricity and they were all silent. When Pruitt came along with Andy as she picked him up in the morning and they went breakfast shopping together, he stopped when he saw his people.

He put down the boxes with donuts and waffles and Andy put down two paper bags filled with various items.

"What's wrong with you people?" Pruitt asked and they all looked at him like he was crazy.

"This is supposed to be a team breakfast. Bonding time. I don't care about your problems, I'm dying so pull yourself together, be nice and have breakfast." He said. Andy looked uncomfortable but Travis and Hughes gave him unbelievable look.

"Really, Sir? You're going to pull the I'm a dying man card?" Hughes asked.

"You bet your ass I am." He replied and it had Travis grin. "Now are you going to help us or what?" Pruitt asked and as he was standing close to Jack he shoved one box to his arms. And so they all got a task and together they set up the table. Sullivan was the last one to come, he watched them and kept on smiling. Pruitt saw him and walked over to him.

"You've got something to say, Sullivan?"

"It's good to have you back, Sir." He replied and Pruitt smiled back. Sure, it was good to have him back.

"Go and make yourself useful, son." He said and Sullivan only nodded with small yes, sir and left to help out the crew. Pruitt stood there and had a smile on his face. He was not willing to die before making sure his team would make it through.

The preparations flowed easily, the conversation started and soon they were all chatting about all sorts of things, successfully avoiding the sensitive topics. Couple of times Andy dared to look at Sullivan and couple of times he dared to do the same thing. And couple of times they even did it in the same moment. And it was more than awkward.

Hughes noticed and when it happened for the third time she nudged Herrera's shoulder.

"You should talk to him." She said.

"Vic…"

"Look, you care about him and he cares about you. Things are messy but that's life." Vic said and Andy looked down at her hands. She knew this herself, she didn't need anyone to tell her. She just didn't know what to believe anymore.

"It's not that easy." Andy replied.

"Of course it's easy. Hi Robert. Hi Andy. Let's talk." Vic said like it was the easiest thing on the planet and Andy just shot her a look that could kill. "Life's too short." Vic added and let Andy be to put it all together in her head so it would make some sense.

Andy had been thinking about it ever since Sullivan left the bunk after being her human pillow for hours when she needed him the most. And when he said he wanted to talk about something? Her heart stopped at that moment and it was difficult to just go on. But she was too hurt and too angry to think clearly. So she just watched her dad talk to her colleagues, she watched him smile and laugh and she felt her heart swell. She would miss him so much it was breaking her apart already. Letting her emotions take over she just closed her eyes for a moment and right then she felt a hand on her shoulder. She knew immediately who it was. That single touch calmed her down. She felt Sullivan squeeze her shoulder in silent support and then he was gone.

Sullivan knew he was walking on a very thin ice but he saw her watching her dad and knew that she was in pain. He wanted to help, he wanted to do something, anything but what? He couldn't do anything. So when he was passing by to talk to anyone who'd be in his path, he squeezed her shoulder. He felt her relax and there was a small part of him silently enjoying the power he had over her. He missed the contact the moment he lifted his hand and walked on.

When it was time to start their chores they all helped to clean up and then left to attend their duties. Pruitt was happy to notice that people seemed to be talking to Bishop a bit … well a little less angrily. He knew it wasn't fair to put her into this position but she was a fighter. She would make it. Andy stayed with him as the last one.

"Go, do your job." He told her.

"Dad." She said.

"Can I stick around?"

"Well I don't mind but ask the Captain." Andy said and for the first time she wasn't angry at Maya while talking about her as a Captain. She didn't care at all. She would watch her rise and fall. Maya was right. She was a crappy friend. But at the end of the day when Andy was honest with herself, she was mad at Sullivan and Dixon, she was mad at her but still she cared about her and kind of missed her. Maybe Maya was right and maybe one day she would forgive her and find her way back to her. She kept Sullivan's words on her mind when he told her such a long time ago to fight for the friendship with Bishop because those were rare and worth fighting for.

Well she was mad at him even more than she was mad at her. He broke her heart and crushed it to little pieces in the name of protection and promotion and then he gave the promotion to Maya. It wasn't fair and it didn't make sense. He knew her, he knew she would do okay despite losing Ryan. Or … if she was honest with herself and she didn't really have the energy yet to do so, she would agree with the decision because she knew the anger inside her and the numbness that came along with it would destroy her. Well, in the beginning. Day by day her mind was getting clearer. She would have done well.

Yeah, except for the fact that she was going to lose her dad soon and that would probably crush her so much that she'd be a crappy Captain. Damn.

She left her father in the beanery and decided to risk it. She walked to Sullivan's office and knocked on the door. He looked up and was surprised to see her there. He wanted to smile but didn't know if he could and should.

"Hey." He said and Andy just walked inside.

"Is this a bad time?" Andy asked.

"No, of course not." He replied and got up to meet her on the other side of the table.

"It's awkward."

"What is?"

"This. Us. It's… I don't like it." Andy said and Sullivan just watched her. Andy sighed, they wouldn't solve this anytime soon probably.

"You wanted to talk to me about something." Andy said instead.

"Yeah…. I… um…" He tried. "I don't know where to start."

"Oh." Andy didn't know what to say to that. After couple of minutes she had a bad feeling.

"I should go. This was a bad idea." Andy said as the silence was deafening and the air grew thicker.

"Andy, wait, please." Sullivan said and before he could stop himself he reached out for her hand. The touch was brief and it shocked them both that he actually dared. She let him hold her and didn't care one bit about the walls being from glass.

"I'm sorry." He said and sounded sincere.

"About what?"

"A lot of things. But right now I'm talking about … about telling you to go." He confessed and Andy took a step back, letting his hand fall into the air. She couldn't do this. Not now. Not here. She felt her breath getting quicker and the well known feeling of tears burning in her eyes. No.

Sullivan knew that it was now or never kind of situation. "I screwed up and I'm sorry. I should have been honest with you and I should have told you the truth." He said and it got Andy's attention.

"What do you mean by that?" She asked and looked worried. Could this be any worse? "You told me to go and then avoided me and pushed me away and talked about protecting me and my promotion which you didn't give me anyway so… what is the truth?" She asked.

But before he could answer that question the dispatch called for Aid Car and Engine and Andy had to go.

"I have to go." She said, hating herself for even coming to him in the first place.

"Can we finish this later, please? Can you hear me out?" He asked her and looked so desperate her heart broke again. She just nodded not trusting her voice enough to speak.

Pulling herself together she joined Miller in the Aid Car and they left the station with the rest of the crew that was called to the car accident that involved a fallen tree and some spilled goo all over the road.

Sullivan knew he wouldn't do much work as he couldn't stop thinking about her. And about his upcoming appointment with Dr. Shepherd. He felt like he could use something sweet so he walked to the beanery to check if there was a spare donut left or cake or something, anything. He was battling the pain and he was exhausted.

He noticed Pruitt was still there and wasn't sure if it was good or bad for him. But he didn't seem interested in talking, he was just there, drinking coffee. Sullivan checked and found some cake.

"Do you mind if I sit down, Sir?" He asked Pruitt.

"Of course not." Pruitt answered and watched Sullivan sit down with a huge piece of cake on his plate. Sullivan dug in and enjoyed the taste.

"Didn't know you had a sweet tooth, Sullivan." Pruitt said with a smile in his voice. Sullivan didn't say anything so Pruitt did. "Did she come to talk to you?" He asked and watched as Sullivan started to cough the cake. It took him a moment to breathe normally again.

"I know my daughter." Pruitt said and Sullivan nodded.

"Yeah, I wanted to talk to her, I have… I have a lot to explain and even more to apologize for. But before I could actually do that she got called so…"

"Are you going to tell her about the promotion?" Pruitt asked.

"What do you want me to say to that, Sir?" Sullivan asked back. And Pruitt didn't know. He took some time before answering.

"Do what you believe is best." He told him and Sullivan wasn't sure how to take that. "And for what is worth, Robert, I owe you an apology. So… I'm sorry for what I said and I'm sorry for how I treated you. I didn't understand and I was mad."

"Sir…"

"Don't try to tell me there is nothing between you and my daughter though." Pruitt added. "I don't know what exactly happened and it's just between you two but I…"

"There is nothing going on because I had a very valid reason to stop it from happening." Sullivan replied. It got Pruitt's attention. "I suffer from CRPS." He said and Pruitt was speechless. "There is no usual way it happens, every case is different. In my case it's about episodes of sharp pain that comes and goes. And it's not something she should be part of." Sullivan summarized and taking the plate to the sink he wanted to leave. What was he trying to do anyway? Talking to her? Apologizing? What for?

"Maybe you should let her decided that, son." Pruitt said. Sullivan heard him but didn't turn around. He left the beanery and felt like he could just go to bed already. Battling the pain was exhausting and these days it was more present than absent. He was only lucky his skin stayed the same and that there was no swelling. It was more difficult to stand it without the meds but he gave Warren and Dr. Shepherd his word and he would not break it.

His day got worse before it had a chance to get better as report came back from Miller informing Station 19 and dispatch that Lieutenant Herrera got hurt during assisting at the scene of crash. He asked for extra Aid Car. The victim from the car crash needed to be taken to the hospital so they needed someone to come for Andy.

Sullivan wanted to jump to the radio when he heard but instead of that he heard Bishop answering and he was proud of her because she sounded like a real Captain. She had the potential. She could do it. Or so he hoped. It took all his willpower not to go to the hospital to check on Andy. He listened to the conversation and when he heard that Andy got crushed inside the car by another falling tree while helping the victim out, his heart stopped.

He made it through the agonizing wait and he asked Bishop to keep him in the loop. She didn't have to but she just agreed and he noticed how worried she looked.

"She'll be fine, Bishop." He said.

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself, Sir?" She asked back.

"Both probably." He answered.

He stayed in his office till Pruitt called him from the hospital that he's taking Andrea home, that aside from cuts and bruises she was okay. It looked bad but the wounds were superficial and nothing to really worry about. She'd be sore probably but other than that she'd be okay.

He thanked him and felt like crying in relief. He got home and took a shower but couldn't stop thinking about it. About her. Before he knew what was he doing he dialed her number and waited if she would pick up her phone. And she did.

"Hi."

"Andy." He said and exhaled.

"I'm fine. It's nothing really."

"Yeah, I just… I was worried." He admitted. "I was really worried."

"Don't be." She told him softly. And despite everything that made sense she asked him if they could finish their conversation.

"What? Now?"

"Yeah, now. If you open your door." She said and he wasn't sure he heard her right.

"Open my door? Andy where are you?" He asked and walked to his front door. Opening them he saw her there with phone in her hand.

"Well I'm at your door." She said and put her phone back into her pocket.

"You're supposed to be at home, resting."

"Then invite me in and let me rest." She said boldly even though she didn't feel like that at all. Sullivan stepped aside and let her come inside. He closed the door and showed her to the living room. He insisted she'd make herself comfortable on the couch. He had to try really hard not to fuss around her.

"Robert." She called his name and it stopped him from moving around anymore. He came to her and sat down next to her.

"I'm sorry." He apologized again.

"I'm listening." She said and he knew that he was given a second chance.

"CRPS. I suffer from CRPS. And the first time I experienced the pain was when you left to lock the door. I told you to go and kept you at arm's length not because I wasn't interested but because I was in pain and panicking and trying to find a way how to keep going with my life." He said and noticed that it clearly shook her.

Andy had to think about it for a moment. Okay so she could understand what he was saying but she couldn't understand why he didn't say anything. But watching him all nervous she knew that his attitude changed.

"And now? Did you figure it all out?" She asked.

"I'm scared." He confessed and wanted to get up. Andy took his hand though. She pulled him closer and not giving it a second thought, she kissed him. And he froze for a moment before his body reacted and he kissed her back. When they finally parted he was kneeling on the ground in front of her and he was in pain.

"You're exhausted." She noted and he nodded.

"Are you in pain now?"

"Yeah."

"What can I do?"

"Nothing. I need to lie down." He said. Getting up slowly he didn't stop to think it through, he just walked through the apartment to his bedroom. He lied down and cursed like an old sailor. Andy gathered up all her courage and walked to the bedroom after him. She lied down next to him.

"Andy…"

"I'm exhausted too and we still have a lot to talk about. And I'm still mad and I'm sad and my leg and ribs hurt nd… and I recently found out that I sleep much better when you're with me." She said and he only made her more room and let her find a comfortable position next to him.

"What made you stop it all back then?" She asked. "After we came home from L.A." She clarified.

"Ego." He replied.

"What?"

"It's been a really long time for me, Andy. And you're so young and beautiful and I wanted … well I didn't want to disappoint. So telling you my leg was on fire and I couldn't move it wasn't the best plan in my head." He replied and she giggled.

"Men." She said then and snuggled closer. "I'm still mad and sad and hurting."

"I know."

"But I need you." She said.

"I need you too." He replied and soon was falling asleep with Andy in his arms. It was surreal and it felt beautiful. Sure the morning would come and they would have to talk about the rest and face the rest but right now nothing else mattered. Only them.

He wanted to tell her all about his leg and about the promotion but honestly he wasn't sure how to say it all. He wanted to tell her about the drugs he took and he wanted her to know that he was scared and in pain and unsure about his own future.

"Sleep, Robert. I'm not going anywhere." She told him. "Just hold me and sleep." She half whispered and he kissed her hair.

"Always." He replied and soon they were both asleep.

* * *

_Not exactly what I had in mind but I wanted to finish the story before the next episode is up but real life kicked in, so sorry. Hope it's not a disappointment. It is for me a bit but well… I'm glad I could give you at least this. I know I know, there should have been more but I am exhausted myself. Sorry guys. Besides there's a huge possibility of another story being written after the next episode. Well…. I even might add another chapter here someday._


End file.
